TCRWP Summer Intensive Here I Come.

I leave for New York tomorrow. I have been excited for months, looking forward to the learning and the change of scene. Now I am nervous. I don't know why. I am not afraid to fly, I love being in school, and I love New York. Whatever is causing this feeling of anxiety in my chest and stomach has to do with my expectations of myself in a learning environment; I hate being the least informed and I dread being a know it all. Somehow these are the only two ways I see myself.

In writing the proposal for the Fund For Teachers grant through the SF Ed Fund that would allow us this two week summer intensive at the Teacher's College Reading and Writing Program,

we were asked to explain why we wanted to go, why we were good candidates, and what we would bring back to our classrooms and school site. I both love and hate the exercise of articulating my thoughts and hopes about myself as a teacher and the importance of reading and writing well. I reread my reflections and thought they sounded trite and too universal. But I was sincere and earnest in trying to put into words what I hope to bring to the students I have the opportunity to teach.

SO, enough of the angst. We got the grant and tomorrow I leave for a two week adventure of learning at the source of much of what I have been reading and trying to absorb for the last three years. Wow!

Once we began the application process it became clear that if we were awarded the grant, we had better secure some affordable accommodations before everything was booked. Since the grant would only allow each of us $3300.00 for tuition, room, board and our flight, and I wanted to use SOME of that money for books while I was there, I knew we had to find VERY inexpensive housing. Fortunately, the New York Hostel, which is a one mile walk down Amsterdam Ave. from Columbia Teacher College, still had rooms for the full two weeks, and at $60 a night I wasn't going to find a cheaper bed at a place where I wanted to sleep. So I secured my lodging, taking my chances on losing a $50 deposit if worse came to worse. I was not as willing to book airfare in advance with tickets being non-refundable and non-transferable, so I waited to hear and watched airfares skyrocket as summer approached.

The day I got the good news about the grant, I booked my flight. Nonstop would have been wonderful, but the flights left too early in the morning or flew through the night, neither of which appealed to me for the higher cost. Virgin had the best fares, and the times weren't horrible even with a brief layover in LA; so I will get in late (10 pm), but I will have a few more dollars in my book allowance. According to the hostel's website there is an on demand shuttle with an 800 number that I call, and it will pick me up at JFK and take me to the door of the hostel. I will write in a couple of days to report how that goes.

TCRWP has been communicative, sending us emails about what to expect and what to bring. Now, if I can just wake up in time with the time difference, but that is another angst and I don't want to feed it.